Belief? It's All I Have Left
by iffulovedme
Summary: Sasuke/Naruto. The day Sasuke leaves the Leaf Village, he also leaves a certain blonde behind.
1. Chapter 1

You're thinking about him, right? Those dark eyes are vacant. No, vacant isn't the right word. They're…distant, focused on something. Someone. Itachi.

We're just fuck buddies; it's not supposed to be a relationship. It's an accomplishment, I guess, that you're here when I wake up. It's the first time, I think, that you've spent the night. Something has changed. I'm just not sure if that's a good thing.

I'm the village idiot, but you're the only one who's guessed that I'm only playing dumb. Otherwise, how else would I have the uncanny ability to know what you're thinking. To other people, you must be a mystery. But I know that you're always thinking about him. Your brother. Always. And I'm not jealous. At least, not anymore. You're entitled. Especially today. Because today's the day he left.

I'm no stranger to what loneliness feels like. In fact, I'm an expert. You must be really hurting right now. I don't just like you, Sasuke-teme. I love you. And I don't know when I fell for you, but I just know that I did. I woke up one morning and you weren't here. And it felt wrong.

But I know you love Itachi. I know. But I think you sort of love me too. I just wish you knew it. Sasuke…You're not alone. You've got me. I'm your best friend. Your rival. Like Kakashi and Gai are. I'll support you.

I was the class clown. But maybe I just wanted you to notice me. I was mad, back then, when we kissed. And I still am. I'm sorry it was in public. I know you, Sasuke. I know you're a private person. I'm regretful for that. I'm not sorry, though, that I stole your first kiss.

I want to get a lot of power. Before it was just to become Hogake, to get recognition. But now I want power to protect those I love. And that includes you. Especially you. I want to protect you, Sasuke. I want you to let me protect you. I want to take down Orochimaru so you don't have to. I want to catch Itachi and bring him back to you. To make you smile again, because I know he's the only one who can. I want to do all these things so you don't have to.

I was jealous when Kakashi chose you to train and not me. Because I didn't want you to be training at all.

I've seen you at your weakest. When you were almost dead. That time with Haku and Zabuza. I was so scared. But not for me. For you. You have dreams and hopes. So I fought for you. And I continue to fight for you.

Lying in that hospital bed, I really wanted to kiss you. It was weird for me, too. I wanted to know if we kissed, if it would be better than the last time. But I didn't. Because I knew if I did, I'd never want to stop.

I can forgive Itachi. Because I think he's fighting now, for the same reason I am. He wants power, to protect the one most precious to him. You.

And if you choose him over me, that's okay. I can forgive you. Sasuke, you were the first to believe in me. You understand me.

You defended me against Sakura. You think I don't know about that? But Sakura told me later. But you made me think I might actually succeed and make something of myself. That I didn't need to rely on practical jokes. That I could become important. But I always wondered, then, if I could ever be important to you.

Thanks, Sasuke. Thank you. I can't say anything else. Even though I mean I love you.

I love you. We'll get through this. We have to. So you go do what you have to do, Sasuke. Just promise me you'll come back. And if you don't, I'll come after you. I won't wait for you like you wait for Itachi. Don't worry about me falling for someone else. You think Itachi is better than you Sasuke. But I can say this with all my heart, that you're definitely better. Because you have me, Sasuke. You always will.


	2. Chapter 2

We both come from broken childhoods. But you gave me hope. You still do. You excel and keep growing stronger. I've seen you fight when everything is so hard. You have a demon inside you- but I think he chose you for a reason. He sensed your strength, even as a baby. For what it's worth, Naruto, I think you'll make a great Hokage. But that's your dream. Not mine.

But you have forever to become Hogake. To achieve your goal. And I don't. Itachi's not the patient type- he won't wait around.

And you don't need me. You never did. You'll keep growing stronger. Hell, you might even surpass me. I have to go complete my mission that was given to me by Itachi. I'll leave you, like Itachi left me. Angry, hurt, and alone. But I trust you. I trust _in_ you. Come and find me, okay? We'll meet again. I know we will. Sakura, too. All of Team Seven together again.

And it'll be like old times. You making a fool of yourself. Sakura bashing you. And me? I'll be quiet, but happier for all we've been through. And that thought will help keep me sane during Orochimaru's harsh training.

This thing we have going here, it's nice. But it has to end. I know that feelings are great motivators, but they also drag you down. I don't want to drag you down. I don't want to be in your way. So I'm going to leave. I was going to leave yesterday but then you came over. So today, then. I'll depart. Your arms are around me, and I don't need to see your face to see that you're worried. And you do have reason to worry.

Your warm tan hand slides down my arm to hold my hand. Our fingers lace together. Mine are pale, white like moonshine. But they're glowing, because of your love. So perhaps, I think as I draw you down for a kiss (I don't like that frown on your face), I might just leave tomorrow. But I push those thoughts to the side. Because right now I just want to bask in your sunlight. Itachi left me today. And took all my belief with him. or that's what I thought. Seeing those crystalline blue eyes that seem to shimmer from within; it's not the sun that makes them glisten. It's hope. And that's reason enough for me to believe.

~Fin


End file.
